London:



Friends/ Teachers:
Starring: Yumina, Kristen, John, Laura, Marta, Urska, Soon Jae



Video tour at aunt's house:

8 day, Piccadilly Circus (Why he took such a weird picture?)
9 day, tube station10 day, dictionary (no point)12 day, Greenwich13 day, Blur
14 day, Banksy? 18 day, spooky Matt
rainy, rainy day19 day, my school20 day, breakfast at the airport, my auntmy favourite oneclouds - I love them

I knew the last day in UK will be like this. I knew I have someone to rely on. Matt wrote nice, but from my underestimating point of view, not so true comment on my certificate, which I afterwards almost lost. But skip it to the late afternoon, skip it to the part, when I met Soon Jae in Piccadilly Circus and he did the same nudge to my back as I usually did to him. He took me to tuck shop and why I ate chocolate icecream - I don't know.
-"Why are we in a gallery? D'you like art?" -"No, I just thought you would like it." he replied. We sat on the fountain's sill and guessed what country people around us may be from, we sat on a pavement on Trafalgar Square, we sat in the second floor of the bus, we sat in a train and asked each other about boy/girlfriends and planned our next session. Well, it was more than fabulous. I should wash my jeans, but I won't, I don't want to wash away the icecream stain, which leaked on it - I don't want to forget.
It was too late when I got home, about ten o'clock, I think. I quickly packed my suitcase and went to the opposite side of London, to my aunt. She said "I'm worried how to get you on the airport and the only thing you think of is if there's Starbucks near departure hall!" and maybe she was right and maybe I was just too overwhelmed by everthing when sitting in underground I took in to clutching the seat so tight I thought I was insane. I just didn't want to go.
In the night I ate another spoonfuls of icecream and slept for three hours.
A morning so early I couldn't believe there was loads of people, a morning so early the sun was starting to rise, a morning so early I loved, loved, loved the moment when I was eating my breakfast and thought Fuck, if this is not England, what is it?
Thereafter I was asked "What happened, what happened with you?" and "Do you have something in your belly?", which was so awkwardly funny. And yeah, then I wave goodbye from the airplane window and London started to retreat, retreat, meantime it was little tiny blur.

Wednesdays' afternoon class changed into history lesson again, but this time I was only student in the class, so it was much harder to avoid the topic. Then I just gave up and read newspaper, he brought me. In the vening I was on Peter Pan show - it was so incredibly remarkable I couldn't believe it. You know how I love theatre and you know how I love flying guys with unbuttoned shirt and blowzy hair. The little kid, who was touching me slightly, was maybe not so worried as I was. And when I think more about morning, I remember how my face dropped, when Matt started to speak in polish and since this -I won't wonder anymore...

On thursday I gave presents to John and Matt, they were pretty surprised, especially John. Then I experienced the most wonderful side hug (oh, for how long I haven't felt someone's warm hand; oh, for how long I haven't felt my hands warm) and he shoke our hands twice and made me sure he would write an email and looked like he was really glad.

Then I bounced out with amazed face to my class with Kristen, where we spent some time watching South Park - the epizode about financial crisis with my favourite part - Your money's gone, step aside please. Then a muggy morning turned through unfair bitchiness of my classmates to rainy evening with wet, liquid splendidness. I basically had to hold newspaper over my head, but I was all wet anyway when I ran from the underground to hide in Starbucks. After a hopeless struggle of drying my socks and shoes, I ate cupcake (never, I mean, NEVER eat strawberry cupcakes!) and when I went outside again, I seriously tried not to jump into puddle, but you know these days when I'm clumpsy more than you could expect.

And well, this is all for this time: I remember England, I remember London, I remember you.

There is so many students in my class I really don't enjoy lessons so much as I did before. Soon Jae and I draw rainbows and planned his trip across Europe instead of learning and I feel confused about asking him out. Our new morning teacher comes from New Zealand and is very close to my imagination of being enthusiastic. I can't say the same about new afternoon teacher who is slightly connected with theatrical acting and talked at least two hours about history, which I enjoyed, but was not impressed at all. On monday I bought Crash by JG Ballard, just because someone wrote on a recommendation card it was better than Palahniuk's books. I finally bought some of the presents and spent quite a long time in music shop. On tuesday I went to Harrods and only thing I could afford was fruit candy, but I laughed hilariously. Evenings usually annoy me, but hopefully I will stay late tomorrow and take a night walk in London centre.

When someone tells you to go straight the road and you'll see sign Nursery School and you go straight and end up somewhere in the middle of nowhere, then you have reason to be upset. When your aunt tells it was your fault, then you have reason to be upset. And then, when you finally find it, children look at your face like you were something fabulous and you eat chocolate and drink still water from pink cup.

Sitting in the garden, breathing the smoke from Viki's cigarette, you realise the only outlet is to go for coffee and talk, talk, talk and maybe it's not just about talking, because when you listen to Vishaka, you start to think that maybe not all of the people are bitches. Maybe nobody is a bitch and it's just me. And I spoke about teasing and ignorant people and do you now how we got here? Of course, we discussed men firstly.

When you decide on going to trip and your friend cancell it and when they do it fourth time, then you are upset. So I changed my plans for weekend into bouncing in the rain with iced latte and filling up postcards with special picture add - oh how I love myself when doing this.

On sunday I woke up early and spent quite a long time searching for Banksy's drawings and I found something, which probably could be Bansky's picture, but I'm not sure. One nation under CCTV would be a great poster anyways.

It took me a while to get used to that feeling when your mouth is faster than your brain and then you think just "Oh, did I really say it?", which happens to me all the time here in London.

After midday I met auntie and Viki again in Camden town. Although I didn't like the "Your struggle even hasn't started already", which I disagreed with, I liked that part "Stop pulling me". Mutual poking, international farewell and listening to Killers.

Being stuck in the biggest european five-floored library in Piccadilly circus takes more than one hour and being amazed by Richard Brautigan and youth pair clamping themselves and reading from books and overhear the talk of two girls about view-changing story, it didn't make any difference.

I'm addicted to watching BBC and when going to school, GoodMorningLondon sounds in my ears. The guy in Subway sold me cheaper sandwich than it was supposed to be, because I didn't have enough money and I'd do it again just for that feeling I felt when he asked me what was my name and he thought I was Italian. After this was hiss in my left earphone and untied shoe only a little blur on my widescreen.

I spent 20 pounds on postcards and filling it in I will postpone to undergrounds' drive home and Samuels' mail I will just let sink into dust, deeper in my inbox and write back when I won't be so enthusiastic. And have I mentioned that Matt's originally from Poland?

Today I was in Notting Hill - well, everybody said there was nothing, but I wanted to check it and well, yes, there is nothing. But the scottish-looking guy who I asked, where was Subway, was kind - these days I do lot of things without thinking.

Palahniuk helps me connect with other people quite a lot - Matt read Snuff and I love him. This is my personal summer.

In Top Shop they played La Roux and believe it or not, I bought pink tights. Can you see what I'm doing?

Two times I stayed in the train when it was in the station where I was supposed to get out, you know, just because for the thrill of being lost and - Mind the gap, Mind the gap, please!

About slight morning sickness, I will tell you something. About nights which are hard to get through, I could write a book. Now it's first time I'm in England for more than week and I tend to think about what it will be like, when I come home and what will be another year about. When someone tell you, they don't miss you so much - well, it does hurt. When I'm sitting in underground, sometimes I don't want to get off the train on Colliers Wood, I want the train to go on, fast and then just stop in the certain point, a year after this. Skip it. Skip the part of being home, (well, I got used to call home the country, where I was raised) and be in England again. The same as you do it with music, you skip the one song, which doesn't make you happy. I don't want to hear this song. Give me Patrick Wolf, give me Chris Corner, but not this. It's far too painful for listening the sound of another year in these bright days.

When you look at your watches on your wrist, it's hard to believe the time passes by. It's hard to let something slip from your mind, it's hard to stay in someone's mind.

Matt was today wearing white T-shirt and grey buttoned sweater and it doesn't matter, but -, and said houndred times You're really good and for me this was the part, where the sentence stopped, there was no at english in the end, really. Anyway I still do not believe either of those options. And he talks with the cutest american accent british person can have.

Sitting on a bench in the park I was thinking about weekend and now I can say I enjoyed it quite a lot, it was kind of - well, I can't say intellectual fun, but fun it actually was. It's been a long time ago since I last time had shot the breeze with somebody in a way I perceive it.

In newspaper stand I bought Glamour, where is on the top written Britain's No1 women's magazine, but sorry guys, I got it only because of the free book packed with it, no doubts, really.

Piccadilly circus haven't changed at all and we booked tickets for Peter Pan musical. There was not so much to choose from. I mean, there's always not so much to choose from.

1 day, underground3 day, Kingston

4 day, StarbucksI said I will be choking with a muffin:4 day, Kensington Gardens

On thursday didn't anything happen, except for the guy in the shop I was buying animal shaped digestive biscuits at, who asked me how I was and I said Yeah, pretty good and except for the flashing glimpse of the girl waving goodbye in a elevator, which made my day. In the evening I met my uncle and took a walk across Kensington Gardens and the edge of Hyde Park, with icy chocolate smoothie, my teeth shaking. Family sessions continued on friday, when my aunt waited for me in the very end of London, Edgware. A suburb, from my point of view. We cooked a dinner, laughed out loud with her friends, who asked me if I have slept with a boy already and for whatever reason, Matt came to my mind. When they stopped with their cubbish babbling, we decided to watch a creepy movie. I can't remember when I last time watched horror film. And I can't remember when I last time slept till lunch time. Auntie (oh how she hates when I call her like that), Viki and I took the tube to London centre in saturday afternoon. After short boat trip and after having stupid notices about guys walking through streets while eating at KFC, we went from Trafalgar Square to James' Park and Hyde Park again, which was impossible to find with Viki's guiding, but we spent nice time in the expensive street near the park, where we admired shops like Tiffany and others for spoiled people and I laughed at Jimmy Choo high heels. And then at park we fed fluffytails and man with dog started with us a conversation about his problems, he had hardly understandable accent, but still. We got home and on TV was Sex and the City, one of those very old epizodes, oh how I loved this season when I was a kid. I tell you about cold evenings in here. About baggy sweaters and stolen sweethearts.

Tell me about the weather. Tell me about everything that can change your plans. Your mind. Tell me how did you exactly feel when we were eating cookies and slurping iced fruit juice. I was quite familiar with it. Tell me what did you do when I was sitting in afternoon class and watching boring movie. Everything that can change your plans.

Ophelia, the another girl and I chose Kingston for our shopping aims. But after our dinner, when everyone could realize I'm a pig when eating, every shop was closed, so I just bought purple shirt in the very last shop, which was still open. We ended up with milkshakes in hands stepping pavement on the way home. Change your mind. And reflections in tram window and slight dancing when listening 80's was actually not so bad.

Matt was really kind to me today. Oh wait, everyone is in here. But Matt laughs in a way nobody else does. In afternoon I had my first conversation lesson, I met Kevin - our teacher and except for playing games we were talking about our favourite books, but mainly about favourite songs. I believe the guy sitting next to me was cheating for sure - he wrote down on the bottom of his sheet No Distance Left to Run and in the bracket he put "for bad times". I watched him in surprise, he gazed at my paper with favourite songs and then all I said was just stupid "It's... really a good song". Just Damn, yeah, that's the word. Everything got better when I got to know two girls from Taiwan and made with them plan for tomorrow. Everything got even better in the evening when I took a little walk in streets, noticed my face looks like I was constantly in awe and my iPod played Blur and Arctic Monkeys, which pretty fits to all this around me. In the end of the day I just got to shop to buy cookies and read NME article about Coxon and watched the world spinning gently out of time.

Now it's been twenty-four hours since I came to London, Wimbledon, since I started to build my future three weeks from bricks, from little tiny bricks, one after one. This is a good basis I started to build on; in the morning I came to school an hour earlier, so I took a bus and got to the city, heading immediately to Starbucks and then in school had a lesson with an awesome guy called Matt. His glasses, accent, everything right up my street. Matt. After short tour through Wimbledon, we decided to go to the London centre by underground and stayed a couple of hours in Oxford street. I can clearly imagine the last time I was there, as I ran through the street and was afraid of missing the bus. And then we got to Notting Hill by tube, then took district line back to Wimbledon, then bus, and then by tram to home. I learned how it works in one day, that easy it is. Another brick. Everything's made of bricks. Everything is like a little brick piece, which loads of things depend on. A bit heavy piece, hard to absorb, but easy not to forget. Like puzzles which stick together. Like bricks. Well I think, this is England.